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05-22-2003, 06:17 AM | #1 |
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One of my poems
Hey everybody, I've been wriing poems for a while now, and i want u to read it and i really hope you like it....i'm new in the creedfeed community that's why....
Anyway here it is, it's called: :embarass: The Crooner You are in a room pitch black And damn it's icy cold in here So you tremble in fear Just when you see a ray of light, a shaft It attracts you like never before It prompts you to know where it'll lead You think it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen Suddenly something hits you and you see gore Yes, you've been betrayed by the Light Arrows are shot at you And you're slowly losing your life And don't know what to do. So you run towards the shaft You leave this place that's rack Then you fall in an endless abyss And forget the reasons about all this... You're falling forever and ever And you don't know why You don't even know if Time's passing by... Out of nowhere, you hear a Crooner As you listen to his voice It's sad, filling your soul and its void As he sings his mourning so softly You "land" finally And beging seaching for him For he only chants the sorrow that he has within "Crooner, where are you? you yell Your sorrow is burning me like Hell! Why are you this way? Please show yourself in the light of day And stand with me face to face but don't try to go to a hiding place..." No answer, dear listener 'Cause the shaft got you in a stupid dream But you can't wake up it seems. Yeah, the Crooner's still singing And you're still dreaming... Despair's within you, it's in your veins A despair that only the Crooner can explain: "What you think is who you are What you're searching for is still very far When the sun will rise in the East And set in the West Then it has ended your quest And Happiness you've reached." That's what the Crooner chants That's what you'll understand So keep on listening dear listener 'Cause your dream will stop here dear dreamer.
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"Quod me nutrit me destruit" "A prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages" T.W. "L'homme naît bon. La société le corrompt." J-J Rousseau |
05-22-2003, 09:50 AM | #2 |
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Oh, man, that's excellent! I really like the idea you're presenting in this poem. I almost think of My Own Prison while I'm reading it--my vision of MOP, anyway.
Oh, and I love your name! Hotdoggie--that's great!
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05-23-2003, 09:36 AM | #3 |
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Oh my God, that's exactly what I was trying to say, it's my own version of MOP...I'm glad someone has recognized it! Thank you Redeemer, love ya man!
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"Quod me nutrit me destruit" "A prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages" T.W. "L'homme naît bon. La société le corrompt." J-J Rousseau |
05-23-2003, 11:12 PM | #4 |
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thats great hotdoggie, just a question though, whos your crooner and whats your shaft??
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"althought the names change inside we are all the same, why cant we tare down the walls and show the scar's were covering?"-Inside us All My stage is shared by many millions who lift there hands up high because they feel this, we are one we are strong, the more you hold us down the more we press on!- What If To them Im seen as different but that I cant control I know they couldn’t walk one step in my shoes Refusing to see inside is something that they choose And giving in to their hatred is something I refuse For the moment I give in is the moment that I lose Loosing is a risk that I just cannot take Cause if I loose it’s my heart that will brake- Falling Alone |
05-24-2003, 02:00 AM | #5 |
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The Crooner is like an angel, you know kids when they have like imaginary friends and all? We grown ups have our own but we don't wanna admit it cuz it's too childish, everybody needs someone to talk to, that person lives inside of us and he/she knows what we feel inside...
"And begin searching for him For he only chants the sorrow that he has within" you know what I mean?? The light (aka the shaft) is the ideology of hope we have in life, we think it's going to save us, but it's hard to reach it: betrayal of Hope. "Yes, you've been betrayed by the Light Arrows are shot at you And you're slowly losing your life And don't know what to do." You see where I'm getting at?
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"Quod me nutrit me destruit" "A prayer for the wild at heart kept in cages" T.W. "L'homme naît bon. La société le corrompt." J-J Rousseau |
05-24-2003, 12:47 PM | #6 |
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it's great!!!wow!i like it
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