The Jokes Thread

aussiecreeder · 01-18-2005, 01:37 AM

Okay silly one to kick things off but its funny........

A duck walks into a bar and walks up to the barman. The barman asks the duck if he can do something for him. The duck saids "Got some water"? Barman replies "No we don't have any water". The duck asks "Got any water"? Barman saids "No we don't have any water". Duck asks again "Do you have any water"? Barman replies "Look mate I already told we don't have any water." Duck asks "Mate got any water?". The guy at the bar by now is getting angry and he saids "Mate I've friggin told ya I don't have any water, so if you're not going to buy something piss off.". The duck asks "Got any water." The dude at the bar is getting really pissed by this point so he saids "Look buddy if you ask me that one more time I'm going to smash some glass over your head and rip your beak out." The duck asks "Got any glass"? The barman calmy replies "No". The duck asks "Got any water"?

RMadd · 01-18-2005, 01:40 AM

haha that's great!

hayley · 01-18-2005, 03:41 AM

What the hell? That doesn't make any sence!

I don't get it lol

Anna1011 · 01-18-2005, 05:27 AM

haha took me a while to get that one had to read it twice.

Higher_Desire · 01-18-2005, 11:53 AM

Quote: (Originally Posted by - hayley -)

What the hell? That doesn't make any sence!

I don't get it lol

The barman said that he would break a glass over the ducks head if he asked for water again, so the duck asked if he had any glass, and he said he didn't. Then he asked for water again.

Ya know, this having a jokes thread and someone else posting jokes really takes away from my thunder. lol.

H-D

hayley · 01-18-2005, 05:19 PM

Ohhh, I get it now.

Haha that's funny

aussiecreeder · 01-18-2005, 07:46 PM

it really spoils it when you have to explain jokes....in future just pretend you understand and laugh even if you think it makes no sense!

There is a British man, an American and a Russian aboard a plane with 4 engines along with a pilot. They are travelling along nicely when suddenly one of the plane's engines stops. The pilot saids "Alright we can't take all this weight with only engine, one of you guys will have to jump out with one of the parachutes down the back". The British guy straps on his parachute and exlaims "God save me" and lands safely in some hay on a farm. Everything is okay without the added weight when suddenly another engine goes and the pilot saids "Okay another one of you guys will have to go". The American dude straps on a chute and yells "God save me" and he too lands safely in some hay. With only two engines the pilot and the Russian travel along smoothly until suddenly another engine goes and the pilot saids "Oh we're in trouble here, you jump out and I'll have to land this by crash landing". The Russian straps on suit just like the other two jumps out of the plane and because of his accent saids "God shave me" and ends up in a barber's shop.

Sincirr · 01-19-2005, 02:26 AM

2 peanuts were walking down the street
One was assaulted......

aussiecreeder · 01-19-2005, 06:17 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by Sincirr) 2 peanuts were walking down the street
One was assaulted......

lol more cheese than a pizza store yet somehow its still funny!

RMadd · 01-19-2005, 06:45 PM

for such a long joke (the plane crash), i thought it'd be funnier, no offense

aussiecreeder · 01-19-2005, 09:33 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by RMadd) for such a long joke (the plane crash), i thought it'd be funnier, no offense

well feel free to add your own then...........

fluttergirl · 01-19-2005, 10:40 PM

pirate walks into a bar with a ships steering wheel in his pants
bartender sees it, but doesnt say anything, figuring the pirate would be a little sensitive, and well, he has a sword.....
pirate walks up to the bar, sits down, orders a beer, starts up a conversation with the barkeep
after a few pints, the keep figures its ok to ask, and says, "so, uh, why do you have a ships steering wheel in your pants?"
pirate looks down and sighs heavily, and says, arrrrrgh, its driven me nuts

corny?
yes
cheesy?
yes
definitely made me snort though, so...lol....

Alter Shredder · 01-19-2005, 10:52 PM

just to hear you snort...its all worth it

RMadd · 01-19-2005, 10:55 PM

well, since we're on cheesy pirate jokes, here goes:

Did you hear about that new pirate movie?

It's rated Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

fluttergirl · 01-19-2005, 10:57 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by Alter Shredder) just to hear you snort...its all worth it

hahahaha, well, seeing how you cant....
and it hurts to right now, so wait a few days, k?

arrrrrr, lol....
i love pirates.....

01-18-2005, 01:40 AM	#2
RMadd USER INFO » Status: Found The Real Posts: 10,546 Joined: Aug 2003 Currently: Offline	haha that's great! __________________

01-18-2005, 11:53 AM	#5
Higher_Desire USER INFO » Status: Found Peace Posts: 8,631 Joined: Apr 2003 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by - hayley -) What the hell? That doesn't make any sence! I don't get it lol The barman said that he would break a glass over the ducks head if he asked for water again, so the duck asked if he had any glass, and he said he didn't. Then he asked for water again. Ya know, this having a jokes thread and someone else posting jokes really takes away from my thunder. lol. H-D __________________ Today I'm gonna try a little harder Gonna make every minute last longer Gonna learn to forgive and forget 'Cause we don't have long Gonna make the most of it Today I'm gonna love my enemies Reach out to somebody who needs me Make a change, make the world a better place 'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late --lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet from their new album "Awake"

01-19-2005, 06:45 PM	#10
RMadd USER INFO » Status: Found The Real Posts: 10,546 Joined: Aug 2003 Currently: Offline	for such a long joke (the plane crash), i thought it'd be funnier, no offense __________________

01-19-2005, 10:40 PM	#12
fluttergirl USER INFO » Status: Blue Collar Posts: 650 Joined: Sep 2004 Currently: Offline	pirate walks into a bar with a ships steering wheel in his pants bartender sees it, but doesnt say anything, figuring the pirate would be a little sensitive, and well, he has a sword..... pirate walks up to the bar, sits down, orders a beer, starts up a conversation with the barkeep after a few pints, the keep figures its ok to ask, and says, "so, uh, why do you have a ships steering wheel in your pants?" pirate looks down and sighs heavily, and says, arrrrrgh, its driven me nuts corny? yes cheesy? yes definitely made me snort though, so...lol.... __________________ -Amber "A person should not believe in an "-ism," he should believe in himself." -Ferris Bueller

01-19-2005, 10:55 PM	#14
RMadd USER INFO » Status: Found The Real Posts: 10,546 Joined: Aug 2003 Currently: Offline	well, since we're on cheesy pirate jokes, here goes: Did you hear about that new pirate movie? It's rated Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! __________________

01-19-2005, 10:52 PM	#13
Alter Shredder USER INFO » Status: Blue Collar Posts: 599 Joined: Oct 2003 Currently: Offline	just to hear you snort...its all worth it

01-19-2005, 10:57 PM	#15
fluttergirl USER INFO » Status: Blue Collar Posts: 650 Joined: Sep 2004 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by Alter Shredder) just to hear you snort...its all worth it hahahaha, well, seeing how you cant.... and it hurts to right now, so wait a few days, k? arrrrrr, lol.... i love pirates..... __________________ -Amber "A person should not believe in an "-ism," he should believe in himself." -Ferris Bueller

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