Guitars vs. Women (need I say more?)

Higher_Desire · 01-17-2005, 12:59 AM

REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. A guitar has a volume knob
2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one
3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
4. You can unplug a guitar
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
8. You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care
9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
16. It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
21. A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.

REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS

1. Women are more fun when the power goes out
2. You can't get your guitar wet
3. Ever try to screw a guitar?
4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4"
5. A guitar won't beg to be played
6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
8. Guitars aren't very aggressive
9. A guitar won't play you back
10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream
11. A guitar won't scratch *your* back
12. A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk
13. A guitar doesn't care who plays it
14. You can't play two guitars at once
15. You can't fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back)
16. It's a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.
17. Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun.
18. If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.
19. You can't marry a rich guitar.
20. Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime.
21. Guitars don't taste very good.
22. A guitar won't give you head.

H-D

hayley · 01-17-2005, 03:02 AM

Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) 5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more

LMAO

Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) 22. A guitar won't give you head.

That was the best on there.

Those were awesome

aussiecreeder · 01-17-2005, 03:27 AM

Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) [b]REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN
6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it

lol

RMadd · 01-17-2005, 05:10 AM

man, dude, these are awesome!
my favorites:

Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.

REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS

3. Ever try to screw a guitar?
4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4"
6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream
14. You can't play two guitars at once
17. Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun.
21. Guitars don't taste very good.
22. A guitar won't give you head.

H-D

i must say, combining 3 & 4 from the 2nd list can be quite painful.

Trimontana · 01-17-2005, 07:26 AM

Colin, those are hilarious man. I cant choose one.Great found!!!!

Higher_Desire · 01-17-2005, 12:42 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by RMadd) i must say, combining 3 & 4 from the 2nd list can be quite painful.

Yeah.

Two more to add to the first list that I thought of...
23 - Guitars don't get jealous when you play with other guitars.
24 - You can trade in an old guitar for a newer model and not have anyone be mad at you.

H-D

creedsister · 01-17-2005, 02:13 PM

i found it very helpful

goddess_bb · 01-17-2005, 02:19 PM

too funny...did you come up with all of those higher??

hayley · 01-18-2005, 12:44 AM

Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) lol

I just waited because I knew you would comment on the whipped cream one .. LMAO

aussiecreeder · 01-18-2005, 02:12 AM

Quote: (Originally Posted by - hayley -) I just waited because I knew you would comment on the whipped cream one .. LMAO

hahahahha i saw this pic in some mag or paper today and it showed this guy licking cream of this girl's naval. i thought i must do that someday!

hayley · 01-18-2005, 05:01 AM

Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) hahahahha i saw this pic in some mag or paper today and it showed this guy licking cream of this girl's naval.

Michael, how many times have I told you not to look at dirty magazines! It does nothing but rott your brain!

Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) i thought i must do that someday!

lmao

Anna1011 · 01-18-2005, 06:29 AM

Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

1. A guitar has a volume knob
2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one
3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
4. You can unplug a guitar
5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
8. You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care
9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it
11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required
15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
16. It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed.
18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
21. A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.

REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS

1. Women are more fun when the power goes out
2. You can't get your guitar wet
3. Ever try to screw a guitar?
4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4"
5. A guitar won't beg to be played
6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it
7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue
8. Guitars aren't very aggressive
9. A guitar won't play you back
10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream
11. A guitar won't scratch *your* back
12. A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk
13. A guitar doesn't care who plays it
14. You can't play two guitars at once
15. You can't fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back)
16. It's a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings.
17. Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun.
18. If you really *do* want little guitars, you have to buy them.
19. You can't marry a rich guitar.
20. Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime.
21. Guitars don't taste very good.
22. A guitar won't give you head.

H-D

haha dude they are real funny

Xterminator27 · 01-18-2005, 11:37 AM

2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one

lol thats the best right there =)

aussiecreeder · 01-18-2005, 08:51 PM

Quote: (Originally Posted by - hayley -)

Michael, how many times have I told you not to look at dirty magazines! It does nothing but rott your brain!

I wasen't a dirty magazine I swear!

I think it was Inside Sport or something........

Quote: (Originally Posted by - hayley -)

lmao

*Runs to supermarket and buys choc topping and whipped cream* LMAO

Higher_Desire · 01-19-2005, 02:53 AM

Quote: (Originally Posted by goddess_bb) too funny...did you come up with all of those higher??

I'll let you decide that.

And I won't tell you if you're wrong. lol.

Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) I wasen't a dirty magazine I swear!

I think it was Inside Sport or something........

Well, some guys look at women as sport... Not me. I'm just sayin'. And, "Inside"... herrrmmmmm... lol.

H-D

01-17-2005, 12:59 AM	#1
Higher_Desire USER INFO » Status: Found Peace Posts: 8,631 Joined: Apr 2003 Currently: Offline	Guitars vs. Women (need I say more?) REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN 1. A guitar has a volume knob 2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one 3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to 4. You can unplug a guitar 5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more 6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset 7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested 8. You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care 9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg. 10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it 11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar 12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set 13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to your liking 14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required 15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free 16. It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out. 17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed. 18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you. 19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering. 20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke. 21. A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it. REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS 1. Women are more fun when the power goes out 2. You can't get your guitar wet 3. Ever try to screw a guitar? 4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4" 5. A guitar won't beg to be played 6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it 7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue 8. Guitars aren't very aggressive 9. A guitar won't play you back 10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream 11. A guitar won't scratch your back 12. A guitar won't drive you home if you're too drunk 13. A guitar doesn't care who plays it 14. You can't play two guitars at once 15. You can't fall in love with a guitar (well, maybe you can, but they can't love you back) 16. It's a lot more fun to stretch out a woman than guitar strings. 17. Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun. 18. If you really do want little guitars, you have to buy them. 19. You can't marry a rich guitar. 20. Even a good guitar won't usually last a whole lifetime. 21. Guitars don't taste very good. 22. A guitar won't give you head. H-D __________________ Today I'm gonna try a little harder Gonna make every minute last longer Gonna learn to forgive and forget 'Cause we don't have long Gonna make the most of it Today I'm gonna love my enemies Reach out to somebody who needs me Make a change, make the world a better place 'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late --lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet from their new album "Awake"

01-17-2005, 05:10 AM	#4
RMadd USER INFO » Status: Found The Real Posts: 10,546 Joined: Aug 2003 Currently: Offline	man, dude, these are awesome! my favorites: Quote: (Originally Posted by Higher_Desire) REASONS WHY GUITARS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN 5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more 9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg. 10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can return it 11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar 12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set 15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free 17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed. 18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you. 19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering. REASONS WHY WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN GUITARS 3. Ever try to screw a guitar? 4. The input to a guitar is only 1/4" 6. It's no fun to tie your guitar to a bed and spray whipped cream on it 7. When playing a guitar, you can use your teeth, but not your tongue 10. You need two hands to make a guitar scream 14. You can't play two guitars at once 17. Guitar lessons aren't free and aren't as much fun. 21. Guitars don't taste very good. 22. A guitar won't give you head. H-D i must say, combining 3 & 4 from the 2nd list can be quite painful. __________________

01-17-2005, 07:26 AM	#5
Trimontana USER INFO » Status: Bound and Tied Posts: 2,145 Joined: Oct 2004 Currently: Offline	Colin, those are hilarious man. I cant choose one.Great found!!!! __________________ Papa Roach's Tobin Esperance: "If you're gonna wear makeup, it's not about looking pretty. It's gotta look like you've been up all night doing drugs."

01-17-2005, 12:42 PM	#6
Higher_Desire USER INFO » Status: Found Peace Posts: 8,631 Joined: Apr 2003 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by RMadd) i must say, combining 3 & 4 from the 2nd list can be quite painful. Yeah. Two more to add to the first list that I thought of... 23 - Guitars don't get jealous when you play with other guitars. 24 - You can trade in an old guitar for a newer model and not have anyone be mad at you. H-D __________________ Today I'm gonna try a little harder Gonna make every minute last longer Gonna learn to forgive and forget 'Cause we don't have long Gonna make the most of it Today I'm gonna love my enemies Reach out to somebody who needs me Make a change, make the world a better place 'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late --lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet from their new album "Awake"

01-17-2005, 02:13 PM	#7
creedsister USER INFO » Status: Tree of Wisdom Posts: 8,290 Joined: Oct 2003 Currently: Offline	i found it very helpful __________________ Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything

01-17-2005, 02:19 PM	#8
goddess_bb USER INFO » Status: Strong Inside Posts: 1,498 Joined: Jan 2003 Currently: Offline	too funny...did you come up with all of those higher?? __________________ Someone finds salvation In everyone Another only pain Someone tries to hide himself Down inside himself he prays Someone swears his true love Until the end of time Another runs away Separate or united Empty or insane And be yourself is all that you can do All that you can do Be Yourself~Audioslave ~Ignore me, I dare you~

01-18-2005, 11:37 AM	#13
Xterminator27 USER INFO » Status: Said Eyes Posts: 4,314 Joined: Oct 2002 Currently: Offline	2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $.79 for a new one lol thats the best right there =) __________________ If life gives you lemons, Then shut the hell up and eat your damn lemons! BUY MY MERCHANDISE http://www.cafepress.com/xterminator27

01-19-2005, 02:53 AM	#15
Higher_Desire USER INFO » Status: Found Peace Posts: 8,631 Joined: Apr 2003 Currently: Offline	Quote: (Originally Posted by goddess_bb) too funny...did you come up with all of those higher?? I'll let you decide that. And I won't tell you if you're wrong. lol. Quote: (Originally Posted by aussiecreeder) I wasen't a dirty magazine I swear! I think it was Inside Sport or something........ Well, some guys look at women as sport... Not me. I'm just sayin'. And, "Inside"... herrrmmmmm... lol. H-D __________________ Today I'm gonna try a little harder Gonna make every minute last longer Gonna learn to forgive and forget 'Cause we don't have long Gonna make the most of it Today I'm gonna love my enemies Reach out to somebody who needs me Make a change, make the world a better place 'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late --lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet from their new album "Awake"

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