Men always win!

[aussiecreeder]

this is an email...hopefully it provides a couple of laughs!

WOMEN'S REVENGE
>
>"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to >purchase.
>As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control
for a television >set in her purse.
>"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
>"No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come
shopping with me, >and I figured this was the most evil
thing I could do to him legally." >
>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
>(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
>
> I know I'm not
>
>going to understand women.
> I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot
wax, >pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the
root, >and still be afraid of a spider.
>
>MARRIAGE SEMINAR
>
>While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with
communication, >Tom and his wife Grace listened to the
instructor, >"It is essential that husbands and wives know
each other's likes and >dislikes."
>He addressed the man,
>"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
>Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and
whispered, "It's >Pillsbury, isn't it?
>
>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
> A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and
down the aisles. >The sales girl notices him and asks him if
she can help him. >He answers that he is looking for a box
of tampons for his wife. >She directs him down the correct
aisle. >A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of
cotton balls and a ball of string on the
counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you
were looking for some tampons
>for your wife?
> He answers, " You see, it's like this,
>yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton
of cigarettes, > and she came back with a tin of
tobacco and some rolling > papers; cause it's
sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. > So, I figure if I
have to roll my own .......... so does she. > ( I
figure this guy is the one on the milk carton! )

>WIFE VS. HUSBAND
>A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. >An earlier discussion had led to an argument
and >neither of them wanted to concede their position.
>As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
>the husband
>asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
>"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


>W O R D S
>A husband read an article to his wife about how many words
women use a >day...
>30,000 to a man's 15,000.
>The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to
repeat >everything
>to men...
>The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


> CREATION
> A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be >so stupid and so beautiful all at the same
>time.
> " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
>God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
> God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!


>WHO DOES WHAT
>A man and his wife were having an argument about who
>should brew the coffee each morning.
>The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
>and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
>The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around
here and >you should do it, because that is your job, and I
can just wait for my >coffee."
>Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in
the Bible >that
>the man should do the coffee."
>Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
>So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
>and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed
>says.........."HEBREWS"


>The Silent Treatment
>A man and his wife were having some problems at home and
were giving each >other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the
man realized that the next day, >he would need his wife to
wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business >flight.
>Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE)
, he wrote on a >piece of paper,
>"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
>He left it where he knew she would find it.
>The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was
9:00 AM >and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was
about to go and >see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when
he noticed a piece of paper by >the bed. The paper said, "It
is 5:00 AM. Wake up." >Men are not equipped for these kinds
of contests. >
>God may have created man before woman,
>but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

[creedsister]

You Gotta Submit

[RMadd]

not cool man.... only funny one was the cigarettes/tampons one

[Anna1011]

lmao loved it

[aussiecreeder]

Quote: (Originally Posted by RMadd)

not cool man.... only funny one was the cigarettes/tampons one

oh what? come on man it was hilarious...lol
i loved the bit where the women saids i was created beautiful so you would be attracted to me, and i was created stupid so i would be attracted to you. and men being the rough draft in creation was also funny....