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01-07-2005, 06:22 PM | #1 |
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The top 10 reasons God created women
This is funny as
The 10 Top Reasons God Created Woman God worried that Adam would be lost in the Garden of Eden because he wouldn't ask for directions. > > God knew that someday Adam would need someone to hand him the TV remote. (Parenthetically, it has been noted that men don't want to see what's ON TV; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on.) > > God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment. > > God knew that when Adam's fig leaf wore out, he would never buy a new one for himself. > > God knew that Adam would not remember to take out the garbage. > > God wanted man to be fruitful and multiply, but he knew Adam would never be able to handle labor pains and childbirth. > > As "keeper of the garden," Adam would need help in finding his tools. > > Adam needed someone to blame for the Apple Incident, and for anything else that was really his fault. > > As the Bible says: "It is not good for man to be alone." > > And the No. 1 reason of all . . . > > God stepped back, looked at Adam, and declared: "I can do better than that"
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She never told a lie, Well, might of told a lie. But never lived one. Didn’t have a life. Didn’t have a life. But surely saved one. Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go. Tool Wings for Marie |
01-07-2005, 07:44 PM | #2 |
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I Think Were All A Pain In The Ass !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything |
01-07-2005, 07:53 PM | #3 |
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LOL. That's awesome.
Have you ever heard the joke that says women came first? When God created Eve, he originally gave her three boobs. One day, she asked God why he gave her three, and that only two were necessary. So, God removed the center boob and threw in off into a bush somewhere. Later, she asked God to make her a man so she wouldn't be so bored. To that, God said, "OK. Now where did I put that useless boob." (Think about it. You'll get it.) H-D
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Today I'm gonna try a little harder Gonna make every minute last longer Gonna learn to forgive and forget 'Cause we don't have long Gonna make the most of it Today I'm gonna love my enemies Reach out to somebody who needs me Make a change, make the world a better place 'Cause tomorrow could be one day too late --lyrics from "One Day Too Late" by Skillet from their new album "Awake" |
01-07-2005, 08:11 PM | #4 |
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Nooo Joke I Like Read Some Where There Was This Chick That Was Born With 3
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Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything |
01-07-2005, 08:38 PM | #5 |
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I love these!!! I'm showing them to my husband.
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01-07-2005, 09:44 PM | #6 |
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Yes, I'm getting a kick out of them myself. Thanks guys, I needed a good laugh.
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01-07-2005, 10:47 PM | #7 |
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........make me a sandwich
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I enjoy ice cream and a nice pair of slacks, Years later a doctor will tell me I have an IQ of 48 and what some might call mental retardation. |
01-07-2005, 11:16 PM | #8 |
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...........bite me, Jon.
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MK: We're never gonna have the Super Bowl of Scott Stapp vs. Myles Kennedy in a sing-off - it's ridiculous. SP: Actually, we are setting that up. MT: It was in your contract when you signed up with us. |
01-07-2005, 11:40 PM | #9 |
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hehe
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I enjoy ice cream and a nice pair of slacks, Years later a doctor will tell me I have an IQ of 48 and what some might call mental retardation. |
01-08-2005, 01:13 AM | #10 |
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LOL, ANYBODY WANT TO JOIN A FEMINIST GROUP NOW? MEN ARE EVIL.
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01-08-2005, 03:24 AM | #11 |
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Oh, that's just lovely. Pass all the hard work onto the ladies.
Ohh that's the best one there. Eat that men, WE ARE BETTER THAN YOU!!!
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'See the world in Green and Blue Aotearoa right in front of you. See the land of the long white cloud Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south. Harbour lights in the City of Sails Aroha, the love that never fails See the bird with the leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colours came out.' - Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006 |
01-08-2005, 04:26 AM | #12 |
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okay girls you've had your laugh at our expense, now its time to get back to the kitchen and grab me a beer!
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She never told a lie, Well, might of told a lie. But never lived one. Didn’t have a life. Didn’t have a life. But surely saved one. Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go. Tool Wings for Marie |
01-08-2005, 11:17 AM | #13 |
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HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, , Its On Me, Nobody Else Would Be That Stupid To Gooooooooooo, And Grab You One
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Hush child I,ll tell you why you have Loved Me when you were weak you have given me unselfishly Kept you From Falling Falling everywhere But Your Kness you set me free to live my life you become my Reason To Survive The Great Divide you Set Me Free Ooh Our Love Is Beautiful Ooh isn,t This Beautiful Child It Seems You Have Been My Everything |
01-08-2005, 11:32 PM | #14 |
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yay thanks sis and while you're at it grab a few for the other guys as well! girls may be more attractive and better communicators but can girls do these things? read maps? lol drive? pee standing up? no didn't think so.....
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She never told a lie, Well, might of told a lie. But never lived one. Didn’t have a life. Didn’t have a life. But surely saved one. Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go. Tool Wings for Marie |
01-09-2005, 03:21 AM | #15 |
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Sure, I will! Because then I can grab one for myself and join you out there!
I can read a map, and heck, speed is my best friend! And peeing standing up ... well to be honest, and I'm not exactly proud of it or anthing, but I've peed standing up before.
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'See the world in Green and Blue Aotearoa right in front of you. See the land of the long white cloud Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south. Harbour lights in the City of Sails Aroha, the love that never fails See the bird with the leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colours came out.' - Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006 |
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