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01-03-2005, 01:37 AM
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#61 | ||
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LOL
Yay glad you did or else the board would have been bombarded ... poor squirrels
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'See the world in Green and Blue Aotearoa right in front of you. See the land of the long white cloud Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south. Harbour lights in the City of Sails Aroha, the love that never fails See the bird with the leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colours came out.' - Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006 |
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01-03-2005, 02:41 AM
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#62 | ||
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Yeah when you think of it like that its kind of weird. Don't you think its bizarre how older men can remain sex symbols well into middle age and perhaps even beyond while women by the time they are 40 on the scrap heap? Its really unfair when I think about although I can't think of too many older women who are really good looking. Oh and keep dreaming......  Hey X I thought this thread was never going to get off the ground for a sec.....and murdered? Who else is posting around here?
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She never told a lie, Well, might of told a lie. But never lived one. Didn’t have a life. Didn’t have a life. But surely saved one. Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go. Tool Wings for Marie |
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01-03-2005, 05:41 PM
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#63 |
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Keep replying!
Keep the trash in the trash can! 
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01-03-2005, 09:48 PM
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#64 | ||
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The next edition of this fabulous tale from J.R Toilkin can be found below....
 Michael is waiting at home to go the airport to take Qantas flight 2011 to Auckland Airport when a taxi arrives outside his house. He grabs his luggage and heads out the door and is greeted by a man of Indian descent. Michael: Hello driver Taxi Driver: Hello are you having a good day sir? Michael: Oh yeah not too bad and yourself? Taxi Driver: Where would you like to go? Michael: The airport thanks buddy Taxi Driver: *blank stare* Michael: The airport mate, surely you know how to get to the airport Taxi Driver: *blank stare* Michael: Where the planes leave *sticks arms out and makes jet engine noise* Taxi Driver: Me not speak the english Michael: You have got to be kidding me! Do you have a street directory? Taxi Driver: There is a map in the back seat there behind my seat Michael grabs street directory and is visibly frustrated by this driver's incompetence and is thinking about cancelling the taxi and calling a friend for a lift there. He looks through map and finds the best possible route via various freeways that should get him there in about an hour. Michael *sarcastic tone* Hey driver how bout I'll drive there and do the work and still give you the money? Taxi Driver: There is no need for that attitude sir, I was only clowning around *laughs hysterically*. Michael: *manages slight smile* Ha that was funny....good one *fake laugh* The rest of the trip to the airport is an uneventful one and Michael take his position in a window seat and is seated next to two elderly ladies. Captain of plane: Welcome passengers to flight 2011 this flight to Los Angeles will be stopping at Auckland in about 2 hours time. Please keep all overhead luggage secure and if we experience any turbelence on the flight please follow all directions provided by your air hostesses. Guy sitting behind Michael 1: Hey check that out hostess over there Guy sitting behind Michael 2: Which one? Guy sitting behind Michael 1:The blond one.... Guy sitting behind Michael 2:Oh man that is fine.... Old lady 1: Hi and what is your name? Michael: Michael and yours? Old lady 1: Betty and this here is Nancy Michael: Glad to meet ya both Nancy: Would you mind if Betty swaps with you? She gets a little air sick if she doesn't have a window seat. Michael: Sure *swaps seats* Betty: So what are you doing in L.A? Business or pleasure? Michael: Actually I'm getting off at New Zealand Betty: Really its got great scenery but just between you and me the people are a little strange. Nancy: Don't be so rude Betty.... Betty: What its true, remember when we went on that trip with the bowling club? Nancy *laughs* Oh yeah the stories we could tell you but I'm sure it will be great. Michael *worried tone* Yeah sure it will be great.....right? Betty: They have more sheep than people over there you know? Nancy: Crazy people I tell ya.....actually I think one of the hostesses is a Kiwi. We've seen her on previous flights. Kiwi Air Hostess: Its a preddy good day hey? Having a good time hey? On today's flight we'll be serving fush and chups at sex o'clock. *she walks to back of plane away from Michael and old ladies* Betty: See I told ya, they are deviant people always talking about sex. What does sex have to do with fish? Poor sheep..... Michael: *laughs* The remainder of the flight is uneventful and the story will begin next time as Michael is picked up after getting a bus from Auckland to Wellington.
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She never told a lie, Well, might of told a lie. But never lived one. Didn’t have a life. Didn’t have a life. But surely saved one. Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go. Tool Wings for Marie |
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01-03-2005, 11:24 PM
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#65 | ||
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  Can I just say I found that so bloody funny because it's true around here, the taxi drivers are shocking!!  Hey! That Betty girl better watch her mouth!  LOL a bus?! Oh you poor thing, that's a long way ... lol These are so good I think I'll print them out LOL
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'See the world in Green and Blue Aotearoa right in front of you. See the land of the long white cloud Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south. Harbour lights in the City of Sails Aroha, the love that never fails See the bird with the leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colours came out.' - Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006 |
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01-04-2005, 12:16 AM
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#66 | ||
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print them out? oh now i feel special hehe. i wasen't sure if there was an airport in wellington so i made it i went to auckland. is there one?
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She never told a lie, Well, might of told a lie. But never lived one. Didn’t have a life. Didn’t have a life. But surely saved one. Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go. Tool Wings for Marie |
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01-04-2005, 12:19 AM
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#67 | ||
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Yeah there is an airport in Wellington, it's not international though, but stay with your bus ride, that story will be quite interesting.
Oh hey, guess what? I was looking at some pictures today, and this one mysteriously appeared! When me and Larry had that wonderful night together I forgot to tell you that afterwards we went dancing, and someone must have gotten a picture of us together! http://u2sevilla.host.sk/fotos/larry/lfam03.jpg By the way, I had blonde hair extensions then .... heh ....
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'See the world in Green and Blue Aotearoa right in front of you. See the land of the long white cloud Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south. Harbour lights in the City of Sails Aroha, the love that never fails See the bird with the leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colours came out.' - Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006 |
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01-04-2005, 12:20 AM
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#68 | ||
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Oh no it's not working, let me go back there and try to find it again
DAMN IT THIS PLAN WAS SUPPOSED TO WORK lol
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'See the world in Green and Blue Aotearoa right in front of you. See the land of the long white cloud Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south. Harbour lights in the City of Sails Aroha, the love that never fails See the bird with the leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colours came out.' - Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006 |
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01-04-2005, 12:23 AM
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#69 | ||
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hey invoking jealousy will not work because i don't care......
j/k
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She never told a lie, Well, might of told a lie. But never lived one. Didn’t have a life. Didn’t have a life. But surely saved one. Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go. Tool Wings for Marie |
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01-04-2005, 12:25 AM
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#70 | ||
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Jealousy is a word of evil ... I'm not that mean .. am I? lol nooooo
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'See the world in Green and Blue Aotearoa right in front of you. See the land of the long white cloud Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south. Harbour lights in the City of Sails Aroha, the love that never fails See the bird with the leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colours came out.' - Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006 |
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01-04-2005, 12:26 AM
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#71 | ||
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you're loving andrew and i fighting it out don ya? DON'T YA? lol just kidding....
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She never told a lie, Well, might of told a lie. But never lived one. Didn’t have a life. Didn’t have a life. But surely saved one. Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go. Tool Wings for Marie |
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01-04-2005, 12:28 AM
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#72 | ||
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Actually to be honest, it's most enjoyable LMAO
Very funny both you guys crack me up lol
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'See the world in Green and Blue Aotearoa right in front of you. See the land of the long white cloud Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south. Harbour lights in the City of Sails Aroha, the love that never fails See the bird with the leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colours came out.' - Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006 |
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01-04-2005, 12:37 AM
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#73 | ||
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lol its obvious you love it.....but i have the upper hand cause i am closer *evil laugh*.
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She never told a lie, Well, might of told a lie. But never lived one. Didn’t have a life. Didn’t have a life. But surely saved one. Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go. Tool Wings for Marie |
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01-04-2005, 03:50 AM
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#74 | ||
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Now you're talking!
Man, I just keep on going back in forth between you guys, I'm starting to get dizzy ...  lol
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'See the world in Green and Blue Aotearoa right in front of you. See the land of the long white cloud Cape Reinga, to the fiords in the south. Harbour lights in the City of Sails Aroha, the love that never fails See the bird with the leaf in her mouth After the flood all the colours came out.' - Beautiful Day, Auckland, NZ - 24 Nov 2006 |
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01-04-2005, 08:52 PM
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#75 | ||
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Michael gets off his bus that leaves him in the centre of Wellington. By this stage Hayley is 18 so she has picked him up in her first car......a rusty old 1975 Volvo station wagon with the number plate ILUVMEAT. the following conservation takes place in her car......
Hayley: Okay I'll take to my place to introduce you to the family and then we'll take your stuff to your motel room and then maybe get something to eat. Michael: Okay cool Hayley: Now my family is cool but my parents are a little quirky. Michael: *shuffles in seat* Quirky? Hayley: My dad is a very conserative guy and is a banker and is well a little over-protective. Any male who has come to my house who is not my brother has got the grilling of his life. Because of that not too many guys came home with during high school. I think that was part of his evil plan. My mum on the other hand is just like a big sister and is a bit of a hippie. If she starts talking about free love or the Vietnam War just nod your head in agreement. Michael:Okay I'll try to get on your dad's side and suck up to your mum. Hayley: Good..... They arrive at Hayley's house and walk inside where they are greeted by her parents. Mum and Dad this is Michael who I went and saw that U2 concert with in Melbourne a year back with. Hayley's Dad: Oh yeah that would be the one you haven't stopped talking about since right? Michael: *laughs* Hayley: Yeah that would be the one *smiles* Michael this is my Dad and over here is my mum. Michael: Hi Mr. and Mrs.Ginn. Hayley you look a lot like your mum. Hayley: I do? Michael: Mrs.Ginn if you weren't married you'ld be in big trouble. Hayley's Dad:Watch it boy Hayley's Mum: Oh we have a sweet talker on our hands. You've got to watch out for the sweet talkers *face goes red*. Hayley's Dad: I don't like sweet talkers at all. The year was 1975 and I was in Year 8 and her name was Sarah. She was just perfect and I was the captain of the chess club and she was my vice-captain. I was already planning the wedding. Then the captain of the Literary Club wrote her this poem and she was gone. *sad face* Hayley's Mum: Now Michael I hope you remembered to bring all of your toiletries. Toothpaste, shaving cream, razors, toothbrush, deoderant, rubbers Hayley: (interupts) Mum! Stop It! Hayley's Mum: What? Its perfectly natural me and your fath (is interupted) Hayley: Mum you're embarassing..... Hayley's Dad: You're embarassing the girl. Michael I'm restoring an old Aston Martin do you want to come and take a look? Michael:Yeah sure They walk into the garage Michael: Where is the car? Hayley's Dad: Just put those leads on your body Michael: Is this a lie detector machine? What kind of banker are you? Hayley's Dad: Only my wife knows this but I am a member of the New Zealand Secret Service. I'm semi-retired now and the salary allowed me to buy this hobby farm. Michael: This just like something out of Meet the Parents Hayley's Dad: I'm going to ask you a series of questions and I want the truthful answer for each one. Is your name Michael? Michael: Yes Hayley's Dad: Have you ever looked at pornographic material? Michael: Excuse me? Hayley's Dad: Just answer the question Michael: No beepbeepbeepbeeepbeeep Hayley's Dad: Are you sure? Michael: Okay I have but I don't have a single bit at home Hayley's Dad: Okay True....Have you ever taken illegal drugs? Michael: No Hayley's Dad: True....Is it true the average Kiwi male has had intimate relations with an animal? Michael: Yes Hayley's Dad: Sadly that is true.....Okay I think you've passed this but if you're going to be around here I need to know your a man. Cancel whatever activity you have planned and you'll be joining the boys for a game of Rugby Union. Join us next time as we document the crazy antics of this household and the big rugby game that is sure to be a laugh.
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She never told a lie, Well, might of told a lie. But never lived one. Didn’t have a life. Didn’t have a life. But surely saved one. Alright, now it’s time for us to let you go. Tool Wings for Marie |
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