Better Alone That In Bad Company..Friend Problem...Again!!!

[Trimontana]

Hi everyone. I haven't been around for ages; but i missed you all. I am having health problems, in particular on my back. I am having massages on my back cause since 2 days ago it's a bit worse.
And on top of this, my "best friend" Mila is treating me like shit. I am gonna explain this in a sec. Last Tuesday i read on the paper that Alanis Morrisette was performing on a teathre show called "The Exonerated" and that her last show was gonna be yesterday. I didn't wanna miss her, and before i called the box office to buy my ticket, i asked Mila if she wanted come with me. She said yes, so i called the box office and i booked 2 tickets for yesterday's matinee at 4 p.m. Mila has a Spanish boyfriend for like a year now and they are living together since September. This guy who she calls her boyfriend never makes plans with her to go anywhere. He never takes her to dinner or to the movies and he doesn't even think about to go with her anywhere else that is not a party to get drunk or stonned. All the sudden, Mila came next day and asked me if her boyfriend could come with us to see the show. I told her that she needed to call the box office straight away cause i didn't think he could seat next to us. She bought a ticket for him and i was right...his seat was 9 seats away from us. I was already a bit annoyed * * cause i didn't wanna go with this guy to see Alanis; and i so told Mila that i wasn't a fan of her idea. She said he was very sad and he wanted to come.
My feelings from there were really bad. I knew something was gonna happen the day of the show. On Saturday, Mila and me talked about it was better to meet at the teathre; and i reminded her to be puntual cause otherwise they couldn't go into the show. We never meet at the venues or shows but cause she was gonna go with her boyfriend i felt that we had to meet at the show.
Yesterday, the day of the show, i arrived to the teathre at 15.20 pm and they werent there yet. I left a mesage at her voice mail telling her that i was gonna go in and have seat.
They arrived 10 minutes before the show started. Mila's seat was empty next to mine...Her reaction was taking a seat next to her boyfriend and don't even come next to me for a minute to tell me that she wanted to have a seat next to her boyfriend. She was asking to the people next to me to move one seat. Then, i tought, why these people have to move when they bought those seats to be in front of the stage. It's like if someone comes to me at a gig and asks me to move...i will say no. So i told her: don't to worry, you two can seat there that i will be here.
The show was amazing and all the actors were terrific: i even could see Alanis Morrisette after the show for a minute. She's very nice
My friend Mila asked me, when i was passing by next to her, if i liked the show. I couldn't help it...my answer was rude: are you talking to me?. Cause i don't remember arrive with you here or you to be seat next to me at the show when we planned this together.
She started to play the victim saying that she is always the one trying to make happy everyone. I told her that i had enough of her bullshit when she doesnt do anything at all. I am always the one planning our gigs or buying the tickets; and don't mention i am always the one to be the first on the line for the gigs.
She must left with her boyfriend cause i didn't see her again. I didn't wanna talk to her, to be honnest.
The thing is that tomorrow we are suppose to go together to see Whitesnake Live and i don't know what to do.

I wish that you guys leave what you think and what i should do. I feel like i had enough coming from her.

Thanks y'all
Love
Gabixxx

[Dogstar]

Gabi, I sent you a message on myspace.

[Trimontana]

I checked it out already. Thanks hon, for always being there

[nagpo]

[Rocketqueen]

well babes heres what i would do k...when a relationship gets to the point where it only causes complications ...and to keep from saying things in time you may regret..just to keep it going ya know sometimes time a part can do wonders ...untill you can see to eye to eye it all depends on what kind friendship you and mila have if its just buddy buddy or a solid relationship or somewhere in between because there may becoming a closer relationship or a relationship that may need to cease for a while to see what kind you have i,ve missed you to gabs i hopes you back gets feeling better those are a bitch mine gets down from time to time but not enough to bitch about Loves Ya!!!!

[GrafiTTied]

well i used to have a friend who used to treat me like shit, so i thought the best way was just to keep away from her and im doing alot better now, but sometimes i have that guilty feeling inside me because for abandoning her completely. Oh well lifes like that i guess you never get everything you want.

[bilal]

no ones perfect.........not us nor our friends......but i guess we only get hurt at the point were we start expecting certain pattern of agreement or support from our freinds.........and then they dont deliver to our expectations.........but i guess friendship is about expecting something , some support or even understanding from ur freind...........and then u have to play ur part too.......in returning support and care............i do try to keep the limit of my expectations from my individual freinds only upto the realistic limit ....and try to deliver to the commmetments i make.......u know.......but yeh...ive been letdown by friends in the past....and that hurts..........i duno if i might have hurt somebody too, let em down...... ......cant say that fro sure........ but it sucks when freindship breaks or get sour for a while...........damn........!

[Trimontana]

Thanks all of you guys for the advices

Quote: (Originally Posted by Rocketqueen)

well babes heres what i would do k...when a relationship gets to the point where it only causes complications ...and to keep from saying things in time you may regret..just to keep it going ya know sometimes time a part can do wonders ...untill you can see to eye to eye it all depends on what kind friendship you and mila have if its just buddy buddy or a solid relationship or somewhere in between because there may becoming a closer relationship or a relationship that may need to cease for a while to see what kind you have i,ve missed you to gabs i hopes you back gets feeling better those are a bitch mine gets down from time to time but not enough to bitch about Loves Ya!!!!

I have missed ya too babes Thanks for the lovely words...it really touched me. I am feeling a bit extra sensitive lately. Btw, my back feels like hell today. When i woke uo i couldnt move for like an hour; and now i realized that it hurts less if i am standing than if laying or seating on a chair.
Hugs and kisses hon
Love
Gabixxx

[Rocketqueen]

Hey Gabs Xtra Senstive im sure its just pms, well i hate to bitch but my entire body feels like its been run over by phrat train , later on tonitish im going soak in homade herble treament, and see if that helps, i do hope and i do pray your back gets feeling better do take care of you babes

[Xterminator27]

Get over it. State your problems, and her problems, where you both messed up and how to fix it.

Worst thing you can do it wait and not try to make things right.

[Sincirr]

I dont know the whole story like Dogstar would, but it sounds like the underlying emotion here is hurt; Hurt because you care about your friend and also because you miss the friendship you guys used to have before this .

Unfortunately, her bf is not going anywhere. So to keep the peace, you may just have to assume he is coming to anything you are going with her to, or just say, would your boyfriend like to come? That will be so hard, but it may save the friendship.

It sounds like you miss your friend. You want just time with her, without anyone else, cos u appreciate that one-on-one friendship time. If that is the case, perhaps say sorry for the reaction at the morrisette gig, and explain it was because maybe you felt left out or something like that, I dunno...and just explain that you dont mind having her boyfriend around, but once in a while, you would like to just spend time alone with her because you miss it just being you and her. That's not a bad thing. She is your best friend so...