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Old 11-04-2005, 07:30 PM   #1
metalanus
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Undo You

this one id like to make into a song but I need to add to it if you have any ideas let me know . Mr. U this has a diferent rhyme scheme so enjoy.

Undo You

another suggestion,an unwelcomed guest

a push for change from someone else

image of perfection etched in your head

crammed down your throat

you don't need to be fed

you want to cry out, to let them know their choking you

but somehow believe, there words hold truth

they'll corrupt what you hold chaste

devalue your views

If I seem a threat

know I wont undo you
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Old 11-05-2005, 12:20 AM   #2
Rocketqueen
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it was kick ass a push for a change from someone else image of perfection very bold piece it could have been longer and use of deepness was needed
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Old 11-05-2005, 09:19 AM   #3
metalanus
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Status: Broken Dream
Posts: 168
Joined: Aug 2005
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actually last night I added a second verse

another day
a new reason to cry
all they give is judgement
you feel naked on trial

a perfect image
I see in your eyes
when I know you're at peace
with the girl inside

you want to cry out, they don't know her
yet in someways believe they see all their is to see

they'll corrupt what you hold chaste
devalue your views
and I stand before you a threat like the rest
know I will not undo you
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