Sex Before Marriage

[Lady Valkyrie]

How many here desire to wait until they are married before they have sex?

[Altair]

Well, in the first place, I don't believe in marriage. I believe that people should rise above that and be able to love more than one person to the extent that we want to spend our lives with them and make them happy in the sexual way. Marriage, IMHO, is a manmade institution that merely divides us as the political borders of this beautiful Earth which, in reality, has no lines drawn on it, do.

[TeriB19]

When 2 people love each other and are in a committed relationship, I don't see a problem with it. If it's just sex for the sake of having sex, I see a problem with it.

[Altair]

You do? Well, what about kissing for the sake of kissing? What about smiling for the sake of smiling? What about looking for the sake of looking? Does sex have to have any more value assigned to it beyond some satisfaction, a good time, a fun romp, a shared experience, and nothing more?
It seems to me that a mutual tango, with no strings attatched, is nothing more than harmless sharing.

I'm willing to be persuaded in different ways.

[TeriB19]

Men and women always see this from different points of view. To me (a woman) having sex was always something I did when I had deep feelings for the man. To some men, it's sex, no emotion, just sex. Not all women see this the way I see it, and I don't pretend to know what all women want, but IMO I always needed the committment before doing the act.

[Lady Valkyrie]

Personally, I want to love one man... that's it... for the rest of my life. I don't want to jump from man, to man, to man, "loving everyone". I want to share my life with one man... to experience this life with him, and him only. I want to have a family, and raise our children together. I want to grow old with one man. I just don't want to be a flovor of the month of some guys.

Unfortunately I wasn't given the chance to keep my virginity and give it to whom I pleased. I am a survivor of incest and rape. The first time I ever had sex willingly was at the age of 14, and it's only because I equated love with sex... which in reality love is not equal with sex in my opinion.

I got pregnant and married at the age of 16. I have three kids by this man. He left me and I remarried to just as equally a horrible man and I ended up having to leave that relationship. I am now in a new relationship at the age of 28... no sex in this one until we are married. We are both Christians and have the exact same beliefs. He is a bit older than me... he's 44. And to find a man like him is indeed a miracle.

[Siana]

Quote:

Originally posted by TeriB19
When 2 people love each other and are in a committed relationship, I don't see a problem with it. If it's just sex for the sake of having sex, I see a problem with it.

same here

[allison]

Lady - I am so sorry for what you have been through. You must be an incredibly strong person. I wish you the best for a life of happiness and real love from here on out.

[TeriB19]

Quote:

Originally posted by Lady Valkyrie
I am now in a new relationship at the age of 28... no sex in this one until we are married. We are both Christians and have the exact same beliefs. He is a bit older than me... he's 44.  And to find a man like him is indeed a miracle.

I understand and respect your beliefs, but if you both are committed and know that you will be together and are not just using one another, IMO, there would be nothing wrong with having sex. But I am not you.

[Lady Valkyrie]

Thank you Allison for your kind words. However, if I was a strong person I would have been out of those abusive relationships a long time ago. I am a survivor... yes I am... I adapt easily... I'm not always strong. It is God that has gotten me through it all.

And Teri I have also thought about the same thing not to long ago. But I feel that it's worth waiting for. *shrugs* All other relationships that I have been in have been based mainly on sex. I choose to wait this time. And thank you for your respect.

[TeriB19]

You're very welcome.

[BigBassDrummer]

If you are SURE the person is the one, then why not wait until wedlock? To many people get emotionally attached and screwed over by having sex before marriage.... I'm a guy and I'm committed to staying a virgin until I have a ring on my finger, and I'm darn proud of it! I am a Christian, but I am not staying away from it ONLY because of my faith, but because I feel that if the person is worth marrying, she's worth waiting for. Its not fair to her to take her viginity and any chances of getting it back, and then still have the possibility of a breakup. If you take her of that, you are also stealing it from her future spouse, who might want it... having sex before marriage is a selfish act frankly... if you can't wait until you're married, then you're not worth the other person's time. It doesn't matter if both people agree or not, because people change, and the people they meet in the future might not agree. Waiting is also a good test to make sure your relationship is not based merely on sex! You may not think it is initially, but as many of you know, your outlook changes once you've broken up and stop having a bias attitude.

[Dogstar]

I applaud and respect your stand. That is great for you.
For me, though, I think if I were going to marry someone, I would want to know whether I would be compatible with him sexually. I know sex doesn't constitute the whole relationship, but it is an important component and one that should be considered, IMHO. It's a deeply personal thing, though, as well.
For me, I would have to be committed to the person to have sex, but not necessarily married. I think if two people really love each other and want to spend their lives together, they should be able to have sex even if they are not married.

[TeriB19]

Me too! Well said (as usual).

[Draka29]

It is a choice to be made by the people in the relationship. However, I do not believe that sex should be used as a tool to manipulate guys into giving you what you want...