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Old 11-04-2005, 07:26 PM   #8
metalanus
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Status: Broken Dream
Posts: 168
Joined: Aug 2005
Currently: Offline
take out the word "technically" it screws up the flow. other than that its good but I would not say its better than marks because its one lyric. 12 songs take more talent than 1 song so post some more. this coukld be a one hit wonder in a metaphorical sense.
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