[aussiecreeder]

Part 3 A Shopping Centre: A Man's Worst Nightmare

Michael is highly regretting his decision to promise to take Hayley shopping cause he knows this is going to be pure hell but he has promised himself he'll keep smiling and pretend he's having a great time.

Hayley: Oh shopping I just love shopping, in fact last year I spent $500 in one day.
Michael: That is just insane
Hayley: Hey life is too short Mr.Scrooge
Michael: Hey its being responsible, I've got some vouchers for the food court later on if you want them.
Hayley: You have vouchers and you carry them around with you? Wow you are such a tightarse.

An hour goes by and they still haven't left the woman's section of Myers a large department store in the centre of Melbourne.

Michael: Oh come on how long is this going to take?
Hayley: I flew thousands of kilometres for this trip and I need the perfect outfit. Oh this dress is just amazing I think i'll go and try it on.

Hayley in the space of the next 30 minutes tries on 10 dresses or combinations of pants and tops but none that are "perfect". Finally she brings something that she really loves.

Hayley: Wow this simply gorgous but I have to ask you a question and you have to be honest. Agree?
Michael: Yeah sure *thinks to self* Oh oh I'm in big trouble now
Hayley: Okay honestly does this make my bum look big?
Michael:*thinks to self what is the right answer here? Hey curves are in these days just look at J.Lo and Beyonce, I could say that right? No then she'll think I'm saying she's fat so I can't say that. How bout if I blow that question off and say don't be silly. No can't do that cause then she'll think I'm ignoring her or that I don't care. How bout if I say no dress could stop that behind being P.H.A.T. No way she'll kick me in the balls and say I'm a perv. I'm in a no win situation, what would 101 Ways to get out of hopeless situations women put you though say?*

It looks great really you look stunning I promise. *thinks to self I hope that is good enough*
Hayley: But you said that about the 5 other dresses.
Michael *laughs* Let me let you in on a little secret. No dress makes your bum look big. A girl's bum will only look big in that dress if she has a big bum.
Hayley: You just don't understand typical male.
Michael: What is it that I don't understand? Perhaps if you tell me I will understand.
Hayley: Nothing don't worry about it.
Michael: Oh oh now I'm getting the silent treatment, this is the worst torture of all.

2 hours later (at the same department store) Michael is getting exicted cause he just knows that they'll be able to leave soon and he can go home and relax and he starts going toward the exit when......

Hayley: Where are you going?
Michael: Um aren't we leaving now? You've bought your outfit.
Hayley: Don't be so fast where is your outfit?
Michael: Outfit what do you mean my outfit?
Hayley: Look at you, you didn't iron your shirt and your clothes don't match.
You're going to buy something that matches and it also has to complement my outift. See the outift I bought matches my shoes, my earrings, my bag its great.
Michael: Is this hell?
Hayley: Don't be smart....lets go over to the men's section.

So 3 hours after entering the store they leave and Hayley is driven to her motel room and Michael makes plans to become a Buddhist monk so that doesn't have to be around women anymore. They make plans for Hayley to get picked up at around 6:00 PM the following night and the concert starts at 7:30 PM.