The next edition of this fabulous tale from J.R Toilkin can be found below....
Michael is waiting at home to go the airport to take Qantas flight 2011 to Auckland Airport when a taxi arrives outside his house. He grabs his luggage and heads out the door and is greeted by a man of Indian descent.
Michael: Hello driver
Taxi Driver: Hello are you having a good day sir?
Michael: Oh yeah not too bad and yourself?
Taxi Driver: Where would you like to go?
Michael: The airport thanks buddy
Taxi Driver: *blank stare*
Michael: The airport mate, surely you know how to get to the airport
Taxi Driver: *blank stare*
Michael: Where the planes leave *sticks arms out and makes jet engine noise*
Taxi Driver: Me not speak the english
Michael: You have got to be kidding me! Do you have a street directory?
Taxi Driver: There is a map in the back seat there behind my seat
Michael grabs street directory and is visibly frustrated by this driver's incompetence and is thinking about cancelling the taxi and calling a friend for a lift there. He looks through map and finds the best possible route via various freeways that should get him there in about an hour.
Michael *sarcastic tone* Hey driver how bout I'll drive there and do the work and still give you the money?
Taxi Driver: There is no need for that attitude sir, I was only clowning around *laughs hysterically*.
Michael: *manages slight smile* Ha that was funny....good one *fake laugh*
The rest of the trip to the airport is an uneventful one and Michael take his position in a window seat and is seated next to two elderly ladies.
Captain of plane: Welcome passengers to flight 2011 this flight to Los Angeles will be stopping at Auckland in about 2 hours time. Please keep all overhead luggage secure and if we experience any turbelence on the flight please follow all directions provided by your air hostesses.
Guy sitting behind Michael 1: Hey check that out hostess over there
Guy sitting behind Michael 2: Which one?
Guy sitting behind Michael 1:The blond one....
Guy sitting behind Michael 2:Oh man that is fine....
Old lady 1: Hi and what is your name?
Michael: Michael and yours?
Old lady 1: Betty and this here is Nancy
Michael: Glad to meet ya both
Nancy: Would you mind if Betty swaps with you? She gets a little air sick if she doesn't have a window seat.
Michael: Sure *swaps seats*
Betty: So what are you doing in L.A? Business or pleasure?
Michael: Actually I'm getting off at New Zealand
Betty: Really its got great scenery but just between you and me the people are a little strange.
Nancy: Don't be so rude Betty....
Betty: What its true, remember when we went on that trip with the bowling club?
Nancy *laughs* Oh yeah the stories we could tell you but I'm sure it will be great.
Michael *worried tone* Yeah sure it will be great.....right?
Betty: They have more sheep than people over there you know?
Nancy: Crazy people I tell ya.....actually I think one of the hostesses is a Kiwi. We've seen her on previous flights.
Kiwi Air Hostess: Its a preddy good day hey? Having a good time hey? On today's flight we'll be serving fush and chups at sex o'clock. *she walks to back of plane away from Michael and old ladies*
Betty: See I told ya, they are deviant people always talking about sex. What does sex have to do with fish? Poor sheep.....
Michael: *laughs*
The remainder of the flight is uneventful and the story will begin next time as Michael is picked up after getting a bus from Auckland to Wellington.