[metalchris25]

One day, three boys were walking over a bridge when they heard a guy yelling for help. It was President Bush. He was drowning, and the three boys rescued him. He thanked them dearly and promised them whatever they wanted as a reward.

The first boy wanted $10,000, so Bush gave him the money. The second boy wanted a Ferrari, so Bush gave the boy a Ferrari.

The third boy wanted a wheelchair, Bush said, "Why do you want one of those, son, you're not handicapped." The boy replied, "I will be when my dad finds out whose life I saved."
# It is said that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Every time God masturbates, Chuck Norris kills a lion.

# The word 'Kill' was invented by Chuck Norris. Other words were 'Die', 'Beer', and 'What'.

# Chuck Norris is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.

# The 11th commandment is “Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norris” This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

# Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.

# Two wrongs don't make a right. Unless you're Chuck Norris. Then two wrongs make a roundhouse kick to the face.

# Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.

# Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on.

# When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.