Awww Hayley  You're not an idiot and try not to dwell on this. I agree with everything Collin said. You only grow as a better person from the experiences you have. I know I have because all of the relationship problems I face now are a lot easier for me to go through. You're going to get through this and not only become a stronger person, but you will be wiser. Everything happens for a reason and only God knows why, but all of this is preparing you for what is to come in the future. Remember, if you ever need anything, I'm here. 
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You are never given a wish
without being given the power to make it come true
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Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile,
and finds in your presence that life is worth while.
So when you are lonely, remember it's true
Somebody somewhere is thinking of you
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