Oh Julie. Why parents are like that?. My dad as well wants me back with him in Spain. I won`t but even he is sad he more or less understands me. Really i know how you feel. If you have those feelings dont come back home. I felt about to kill myself 5 years ago when my mom died. So i can image your situation and pain. I really dont have a solution for it. It just took me time, a lot of time, to come back to be the same person i was. So dont give up. try to explain to your mom that you cant move on back there again. Shit!!! We make life more complicated that really is.